So you don’t want to survive 2012?
No problem, I am here to help. There are a few of you not going about this the right way so I will teach you how to NOT survive 2012 in three easy steps:
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1. Ignore the disasters in the news.
2. Do not prepare at all.
3. Go on a coastal getaway on December 21st 2012.
Step 1:
Many of you have perfected this step already. Basically you must ignore all the mounting catastrophes in the news; the Thailand tsunami, Katrina, Chile, Haiti, Japan and all the other events. Chalk it all down to plain old bad luck. A good tip is to delude yourself. That way you’ll feel more at ease while you continue to remain ignorant. Something along the lines of this is good: ‘the worst is over, it’s just plain sailing from here!’.
However, I must warn you. You may encounter interference at this first hurdle; in the form of loved ones, friends and neighbours. They will say things like; ‘open your eyes’ and ‘at least accept it COULD happen’. You must ignore them. In fact not only that, you must also call them ‘idiots’ or ‘stupid’. Be creative. Don’t be afraid to add a few profanities here and there to strengthen your argument. Shout your way to victory!
Step 2:
This step is the easiest of all. Just go about your business. Continue to do food shopping weekly and don’t even think about buying extra! You don’t want to survive do you? Good. Then don’t buy any emergency supplies that could save your family’s life in case you run out of food or water. Like the previous step, this step also adds no cost to your expenditure!!! The only cost is just a lump sum payment during the 2012 period: your life. Deal of the century.
Step 3:
Step three is tricky but still doable for many of you. You should have enough money saved from not preparing to book a holiday to a nice coastal region. If not, you can re-mortgage your house or spend your life savings…after all, you won’t need them where you’re going. Make sure you arrive on or before December 21st 2012! You don’t want to be late and miss your death date. Be prompt and there will be no reason you can’t go out ‘riding the wave’ (no pun intended).
That concludes the 2012 Non-Survival Guide. Hopefully, if you follow these steps you will have no problem not surviving.
However, if this is not what you’re looking for and you actually WANT TO SURVIVE please click on the link below and have a read.
2012 Non-Survival Guide
